'Twas The Day Before Christmas

'Twas the day before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a doggie was stirring, not even a mouse.
The fixtures were waiting by the bathroom with care,
In hopes that the plumber soon would be there.

The doggies were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Milkbones danced in their heads.
And Husband in his ball cap, and I with pulled back hair,
Had just opened our wallets for a long bathroom repair.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the couch to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the front door, readied our cash

The sun on the breast of the plumber's work van
Gave the lustre of reality to I and my man.
When, what to our wondering eyes should appear,
But another contractor's estimate, more bills to fear.

With a young plumbing expert, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment our water line soon would be nixed.
More rapid than eagles his tools and supplies came
And he measured, and studied, our exposed shower drain!

"Now Mister! now, Misses! This job I can do!
The only problem is, you can't use the loo!
For the main water line, you will have to shut off!
So I can work quickly, you won't even scoff.

As dry bank accounts dwindle with each home improvement,
The Husband and I were anxious to stop the money movement.
So up to the bathroom our plumber ascended,
With a box full of tools, and pipes soon to be mended.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard from upstairs
The sawing and hammering from our bathroom repair.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Out the pipe valves and wrenches came with a bound.

The plumber was surrounded from his head to his foot,
With new pipes, hammers, sockets and soot.
The bundle of tools he had resting on the floor,
And he looked ready to work, and so much more.

His tools-how they twinkled! his work boots how merry!
The new pipes were the color of roses, the washers like a cherry!
We unpackaged our fixtures, tied up in a bow,
And the silcone caulk was white as the snow.

The plumber spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And sawed the old pipes, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his tools,
And giving a nod, out the invoice he pulls.

He sprang to his van, all his tools packed away,
And up the street he drove, without any dismay.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Pay the bill within 30 days, and have a good night!"